Craigslist

I don't know what it is with me and my luck on Craigslist, but I always have THE WORST experiences.

People jerk me around, never come to pick up when they say they will, they try and get me to give them things for free, and people are just downright rude to me. It's to the point where it is just not worth the hassle to make a little bit of money.

I recently tried to sell my broken TV on Craigslist. I didn't ask much but thought someone handy could fix it. That didn't work so I just offered it for free to get it out of my garage. Once you offer something for free, the offers start FLOODING in.

There was another TV I was selling and some guy wrote me saying he wanted it. I told him ok, come and get it. FOUR days pass by and I receive an email that goes something like this:

Thank you for your quick response. Please consider the item sold to me. I will be paying you via check. I will send my delivery man to come and pick up the item. Please send directions.

Obviously this was some kind of scam. If it wasn't he was just the biggest prick I've ever seen in my life.

Also, if I find something I want, I email someone about it. They NEVER email me back, or they write me back saying it's sold. If it is sold DELETE YOUR POSTING ALL READY. Geesh.

So this lady comes by last night to look at this vanity I'm selling. Her and I have been talking over the weekend, but with our wedding, and some of her family issues we were never able to get together. She decided to come by yesterday, no problem right? She was supposed to be here at 7pm. She shows up at 9:00 at night! 9:00! Her and her daughter stand in my living room looking at it for 15 minutes. She tries to talk the 7 year old precocious girl into it, but the 7 year old is finding ALL kinds of problems with it (it's not big enough, she has to bend over too much to write on it She can't open the drawer right). I mean, are you friggin serious? You are letting your 7 year old make this decision? I don't even let my ten year old make these decisions on furniture.

They leave, said they will let me know today if they want it. I think she is going to try and talk her daughter into buying it. At this point I don't care if they take it or not. It's not worth it. I'm only selling the thing for $30. My time is MUCH more valuable than that.

I think I'll just call Goodwill and have them pick up my stuff from now on. It totally isn't worth the hassle.

The Wedding Day

So this past weekend was my brother in law's wedding. Now, normally you expect wedding days to be a little bit complicated and have some issues, but nothing major usually happens.

Unless you are part of our family.

My morning started out with my sister in law, her kids, my kids, and our hubby's sitting around the breakfast area by our arcadia door. All of a sudden a duck flew into our back yard. What are the chances? One in a million if you are anyone else on the planet, but if you are the family that owns a beagle chances are pretty high that the duck will wind up in your yard.

Of course the dog started howling at the duck. The duck laid down flat on the ground like it was dead. Finally we were taking bets on wether the duck was dead or just playing dead. I brought the beagle in the house and I went out to go poke the duck to see if it was alive. I got about 10 feet from it and it started flapping. Me, being scared of birds screamed and ran back into the house.

About half an hour later the duck was still in the yard, but I needed to let the dog out. So, there we are and all of a sudden WHACK. The duck hits the arcadia door with a HUGE thud. All the kids and girls scream, my sister in law dumps her coffee everywhere because of the fright.

So, this should have been an omen to me as to how my day was going to go.

Here is a short list of the other wacky events that happened that day:

My daughter took her diaper off like ten times today. She ended up peeing on the kitchen floor.

The dog (our beagle) was vomiting all over the house.

The family members that were decorating the church accidentally locked themselves out of the room that had all the tables in it for the wedding.

We forgot the sash to the brides dress at home and had to stall the wedding while I came back home to get the sash.

The AC in the sanctuary got turned off to avoid the candles from blowing out: caused PROFUSE sweating.

The dog (the beagle, of course) comes downstairs eating a dirty diaper.

My niece poops her pants.

My other dog (the normally well behaved one) jumps up and grabs a chicken leg out of my sister in law's hand and eats it.

Now for the icing on the cake, the part of the story you have all been waiting for.

My son floods the church during the reception. Yes, let me repeat that again, MY SON FLOODED THE CHURCH.

Let me tell you one of the worst possible noises in the world that someone can hear is the sound of GUSHING water where there should be NO gushing water.

Come to find out my son was in the handicap stall in the church. In that stall they have the toilet and a sink attached to the wall. In the next stall over is my nephew. I don't know what happens to my son when these two get together but trouble just seems to find them, and my son absolutely looses his mind. Typical boy, he decides to stand on the sink and peek over into the next stall to be funny and irritate his cousin.

This causes the pipe in the wall to break, the sink to fall off the wall and hundreds of gallons of water to begin gushing out of the pipe. I don't ever think I'll forget the look of terror on my pastors face while this event unfolded. I'm certain at this point we are going to have to find another church to start attending (ok not really, our pastor is a SUPER cool guy and we have an AWESOME church).

This is the point in time where I melt down. The shear embarrassment of the entire situation just broke me down. Luckily the water got shut off, and the men did an excellent job of cleaning up the water disaster, and a plumber came out and fixed the pipe before service tomorrow. It COULD have been much worse.

I swear to you that this is the complete truth about my day. I can't possibly make this stuff up. I have witnesses that can account that this is my "normal" life.

One day of drama in our household is equivalent of what some people only get in a lifetime.

Honest Scrap

I must say that I'm completely flattered that another blogger friend of mine would pass along this Honest Scrap award to me. I think personally she is one of the funniest bloggers that I've ever read, and I look forward daily to checking her blog to see any new posts that I can totally relate to as a wife/woman/mother and chuckle at her humor.

Ok, so I guess this is one of those "tagged" things. The rules are that I list ten absolutely true statements about myself and then tag ten other bloggers that I find worthy (hopefully I have ten I can tag if not I'll tag as many as I can, and all are worthy...)

So here goes: The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God:

1. Since I have been pregnant (especially over the past month) I've been watching the Food Network. A lot. A WHOLE lot. Not that there is anything wrong with watching this channel under normal circumstances, but lately I've been watching it like a lion would watch a gazelle, sitting they preying on it, drooling over it.

2. I've been making dessert almost every night. This would account for the extra 10-20 pounds I've gained with this baby. That being said though I've been making these wonderful brownies, then you take them out of the pan hot, put vanilla ice cream on top then smother it in caramel syrup. OMG it's the best thing I've ever tasted. A moment on the lips is TOTALLY worth it on the hips.

3. I hate dogs. I mean, REALLY hate dogs. I think it is because they are so "needy". With a cat you put out food once a week, stick a litter box in the garage and they basically take care of themselves. Dogs are a completely different story. Also because they smell and are pretty much disgusting. The funny thing is that I always have at least TWO dogs at a time, and I always seem to have the most dog drama of anyone I know. I can't seem to ever get rid of them.

4. I have identity issues. I used to be a person who wasn't into brands, and would snub my nose at the girl who would go pay an astronomical amount for a handbag. After all it's just a handbag. Then I moved to this neighborhood and school district and all of a sudden I feel like I have to live up to this certain standard and I start to conform to it. I am now the girl who has THAT handbag. Of course I NEVER pay full price. I refuse. So here I am torn between to lifestyles, the frugal one that I strive to embrace, and the other part of me that wants an extravagant lifestyle. I am working though to find a good balance and impart that into my children.

5. I am haunted by the fact I never sent out thank you cards for my wedding presents. I know I'm an AWFUL AWFUL person. Someone told me I had up to a year to send them out as far as etiquette goes, so I took this to mean I could procrastinate. Then we moved out of state, and things just got lost in the shuffle and it never got done. I still feel horrible about it to this day. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for it.

6. I love labor, hate pregnancy. I LOATHE being pregnant. I'm not one of those women who feel like they bond with their baby or adore being pregnant. I personally think those women who say they love being pregnant are total liars. I like labor not because I'm some kind of freak who likes pain, I like it because it's my own personal version of "A Baby Story." It's the most exciting part of all of it, getting there, being in the hospital, being the center of attention, and finally seeing your little baby. Also I have pretty easy labors, so I'm lucky there.

7. I wish I was closer with God. I'm just never where I want to be with him. I'm a Christian and I love Christ, I just know that I need to be better, but then again who doesn't feel that way.

8. Also being raised charismatic/Pentecostal and having all these emotions attached to God is very different than being in more of a Baptist like atmosphere, where those emotions are missing. I don't get that "church camp high" that comes along with the charismatic lifestyle. I'm having to totally learn who Christ really is, and it is difficult, and heartbreaking because I feel sometimes as if I've had him ALL wrong. I'm not saying either is right or wrong, they are just both very different.

9. I have a pretty shady past. I have a hard time shaking the feeling that I'm still THAT girl. It constantly makes me feel unworthy of friends, relationships or leading at a church. I know in my head that Christ forgives, I just think I haven't forgiven myself yet.

10. End it on a funny note (since I got so serious). I'm a hypochondriac. My husband pointed this out to me a few weeks ago. Here is how that conversation went down:

Him: You need to stay of WebMd. You are a total hypochondriac.

ME: I certainly am NOT. I am just informed and cautious about our health.

Him: How many diseases have you thought we have had in the past six months?

Me: (sit there and ponder this for a moment)

Him: Diabetes? Swine Flu?

Me: Yes (sigh) and yes. And Lupus, Lyme disease, Pancreatic Cancer, and Spinal meningitis.

Ok so he has a point. I need to stay off WebMd.

Ok, so I'm "tagging" the following people on this.

1. Ginger (because she is HILARIOUS and only has one blog written and I need more)

2. Treasure

3. Mom

4. My hubby (because he is HILARIOUS and needs to blog. I'm in withdrawal)

5. Melissa

6. Erica

I don't have ten people to tag on blogs because not everyone writes them that needs to have them (ahem Lanie, Sarah and my brother to name a few).

There you go. You know WAY more about me than you should. Now go and confess something yourself.