Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Violent Mood Swings

I think that God gives women a bit of amnesia after having a baby.  If we seriously remembered in detail all the pain and anguish that comes with pregnancy and birth we would never have more than one child.

Honestly I don't recall being this sick and moody in any other pregnancy prior to this one.  I feel totally bi-polar.  One minute I'm laughing, the next I'm ready to scream or cry.  

Saturday was a really bad day for me, I was just feeling awful, and on top of that we decided to watch "P.S. I Love You."  REALLY REALLY bad idea.  Because I knew he was going to die in the movie I began crying at what should have been a really funny part of the movie (where the hubby is dancing in the suspenders).  By the time the first letter and cake came for her I was sobbing uncontrollably (seriously I could not compose myself).  It was the kind of cry where you feel like your heart is being ripped out, your eyes end up swollen and puffy,  you can't breathe and you are taking huge heaves in between tears.  It was seriously pathetic.  My poor husband didn't know what to do (so he laughed a bit) while holding me.  My kids kept coming in the room looking at me as if I was about to crumble.  Needless to say, we never finished the movie that day.

Yesterday I was able to finish it with minimal tears.  If I felt myself starting to go into heaving huge sobs mode, I'd pause it, do some dishes or laundry and come back to it.  The kids had the day off school, so of course my oldest came in the room.  She kept asking "why are you crying?  This isn't even a sad part?"  (She was relentless)...

This morning I turned on the Presidential Inauguration and caught the tail end of it.  The navy started singing our National Anthem and once again the tears start flowing.  I have NO idea why.  I'm not sure if this came from deep pride for our country or what, but this is seriously getting out of control.

Then, this afternoon I decided to watch CSI from last week while folding some laundry.  I'm then crying at the end of that show because it is Grissom's final episode (I will refrain from ranting about how HORRIBLE the show will be without him, I will save that for another blog).  I feel absolutely pathetic now, I look at myself in pure contempt because I am crying at CSI.  This is an all new low for me.

So here I sit, mascara running down my face with red cheeks and puffy eyes.

Laugh and the world laughs with you...cry and you look like s*&^.

1 comment:

  1. okay i laughed a little when i read this blog. i do remember being a little like this when i was pregnant - not quite to this extent. maybe the 2nd trimester won't be so....emotional for you. :)


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